Dear Life, it’s me, Natasha

by | Nov 24, 2015 | Sewing Projects, Thoughts | 0 comments

Do you ever have those days where you look at yourself in the mirror, disheveled from whatever life has thrown at you, and think:

“what the fuck am I doing with my life?”
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I have been having a few of those moments lately; which makes me feel really stupid, because I have a really good life. I am a white middle-class female who has gone through no real struggles in her life. I own a home in one of the craziest cities in Canada. I have a great family, a loving partner, and the best dog anyone could ask for. I have a steady job that is minutes from my house. I realistically have nothing to complain about.
Now, that is not to say that I don’t complain, cause bitches be complaining all the time.

I really like to create. My favorite parts of the day usually enjoy sitting in front of a sewing machine, or nose deep in an embroidery project, or mindlessly folding fabric pieces and thinking up project ideas. I long to be one of the insta-quilters that spends the afternoon in their expansive sewing room, looking at their million dollar fabric stashes, stitching on their babylock machines, and creating all day. Oh god, the dreams, the dreams I dream. Usually, however, these people also have children (bleh) and rich husbands who can pay for things (wahh) and don’t live in a city quite as expensive as mine (sigh). BUT I WANT IT, I WANT IT ALL.

However, I know quite a lot of people who really liked something and set out on a path to make it their entire life. They end up hating it, because it is all fun and games until you have to do it 12 hours a day to make your rent cheque. I dare to think I will ever hate my craft time, but if I had to sew to survive, it may be a very different story.

Ah, this quilt, I call it ‘the mortgage payment. Your bill is $1500. #moneyplease

Unfortunately, this longing desire to spend every waking second around the sewing machine does not help my day to day life either. It’s a drug, and if I can’t bust into my stash, I’m jonesin’ hard. Sometimes I dream about opening my own fabric store with shelves upon shelves of my favorite fabrics, tables of sewing machines for hopefully enthusiast to learn on, and a full sized cutout of Jenny from Missouri Star Quilt Company behind the till. And then I remember: that store exists, it’s call Spool of Thread, and they are amazing. They do not have that cardboard cut out though (i’ll have to talk to them).

So, I am in creative limbo. I am too poor and scared to venture into something daring, but too much of a day dreamer to think of anything else. These are the thoughts that race through my mind when I look at myself, disheveled, in the mirror.

And, now, for all of you who don’t give a shit about hearing a woman complain about her wonderful life. Here are some pictures from my very first sewing class at Spool of Thread that I took with my girl Shauna, from November 12th, 2013. This is where it all started people, where I got my first bump and started my life long sewing addiction.

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